she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
