Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
