Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
