I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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