apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
