And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
