When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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