We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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