Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
