Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
