So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
