and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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