Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
