She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
