She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
