I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
