Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
