I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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