He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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