oh god the rape fog is back!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
