She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize