don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
