I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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