oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
vagina is talking i cant
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
