I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
