ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
