and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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