He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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