google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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