So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
