i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
