the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
