Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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