Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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