Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
