I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
