I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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