12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
