Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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