I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
