If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
