Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
