Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
