you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
