Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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