I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
