ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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