and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
