have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just pee around me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
