Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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