We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
