I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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