The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
