So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
