Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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