she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
