Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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