i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
