u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
