You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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