I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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