im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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