i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize