8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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