i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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