Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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