guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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