Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
