Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
