what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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