I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
