she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
